Thursday, December 28, 2006

Day 57

I am struggling!
I gave in at Christmas and ate sweets, bread, popcorn, ham and eggnog (to name a few). I didn't get to work out for 4 days. I am hooked again. I am craving food and wanting to eat everything.
I want to get back on track. But I am lacking the energy to get into the swing of things again. I am still battling this cough and sore throat. It is also the "week of anger."
I need God's help so bad.
I can feel myself slipping back into the old me. I don't want to be that anymore. It is funny how when you think you have gotten over something and conquered it - bam! You can fall right on your face. I know that I have the capability to get back up and try again. I just lack the drive at the moment. Please pray for me. I need energy - I need God's strength.
I am going to try to stay in phase 2 until Jan 2nd then start phase 1 again.

Monday, December 18, 2006

Day 47

Yesterday was weigh in day....
2 more lbs.!!!
Total is now 18.
I was surprised I lost any this week. We had a Christmas party on Wednesday and I ate a little of everything and several peanut butter balls, peppermint bark, and cookies. MMMMMM!!!
I also have this nagging cough that I cannot get rid of. It is making me a little more tired than usual. Not as much energy for working out.
I hope I can make it through the holidays without putting any weight on.
I am really going to try to eat as much on phase 2 as I can.
Happy Holidays! I probably won't post again until after Christmas. Please pray that I can keep on task and not give in too much.

Friday, December 15, 2006


Who would have ever thought that this would be what I was eating?
This was dinner tonight. I thought it was pretty so I took a picture for you.
It was a tomato/basil burger and asparagus. It was very good!

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Day 39

I never thought in a million years I would make it to day 39.
Weigh in day!
My goal was to loose 15 by my birthday- in 2 days....
Well, today the total was 16 lbs!!!! WWWoooohoooo!
I am so excited by this. It is an amazing thing to see that scale go down - not up!
Beyond the weight there is so much more to this.
I am different. I am feeling a taste of freedom. God is doing amazing things with me.
I feel like I have a part of me back that has been in slaved for so long.
I have always been obsessed with food. It has been important - more than it should be. I was depressed most of the time over it. I never felt good about myself because of my over reliance on food to make me happy. I feel like I have been able to break some of those chains away.
I don't feel the internal cravings for food like I used to. I don't feel this need to medicate myself with something sweet. This is an amazing thing. It is beyond my ability to describe.
I am in awe of God and what he can do when we are obedient. I know that he has called me to do this for me and my family. I want to be the person he created me to be. This is a huge wall that is coming down. I know I have a long way to go. I know that I could become prideful and give myself the credit and go back to where I was. I don't want that. I want to be strong. I want to continue to seek him and continue to eat healthy.
I know that many people don't get this and don't understand. They just think hey she lost a few pounds. I wish they could see how much my heart has changed. I pray that the people around me can see the difference. God is stripping me of me.

Monday, December 04, 2006

Day 33

I forgot to post yesterday!
It was weigh in day.....a little nervous.
I was scared that I would not have lost anything and I was going to be mad and give up. Yes, I know this is not all about the numbers, but it sure helps to give you motivation.
So.....3 lbs!!!
My total is now 13. My goal was 15 by my birthday which is next Tuesday. I think I can do it!
I also had another good gift yesterday. I tried on a pair of pants to wear to church. A month ago I could not get my rear into them. They were super loose!!!
It is so bizarre how your body changes. I guess I am seeing results. It is just hard not to get focused on how much further I have to go.
I am just focused on the 2 lbs this week.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Day 28

Sorry, I have not posted in so long. I left for Thanksgiving then had a hard time getting back to blogging.
Yes, today is day 28. I can't believe it has been 28 days.
The week of Thanksgiving was tough on the eating, but I did ok. I went to my parents and my mom really tried to cook healthy for me. I did eat a couple of things I should not have, but it was the holiday. I did good until the ride home....I had a bag of homemade cookies in the seat next to me. I was only going to have one, then two, and it turned into 6 I think. I felt pretty bad about it. It was really hard to get back to no sugar stuff after that. It was back in my system and the cravings returned. The good news is I didn't gain any weight that week, however, I didn't loose any either.
I have been trying to work out every day since then. I am eating in phase 2. I don't think I am going to post menu everyday, but I am writing it down for myself. It helps me to know what I have eaten all day. I think I am doing ok, just need to work on the portion size.
Today I treated myself...
I took the kids to the mall. It takes self-control for me to not taste their french fries. Normally I would finish up things they haven't eaten. Or at least taste things that I am giving know we moms have to make sure it is not poison first!
They got cookies for dessert and I decided I needed a treat. I a pumpkin spice coffee from Gloria Jeans. I got it with skim milk and no whip cream. It has been 29 days since my last coffee. We will see what my tummy thinks in a bit. It was absolutely delicious!!!
I miss my coffee drinks. In fact looking at the last 28 days I have only had water and occasional hot tea. I haven't missed the other drinks.
I am feeling good about myself. Clothes are fitting looser these days.
Paul gave me a wonderful comment (makes this all worth it) he told me that he thought I was looking good. It is nice when he notices changes in me. Sometimes you do all this and feel like you are getting no where. I don't see the changes so much. In fact this week I don't see them at all. I weigh in again on Sunday....I hope to see a little change in the scale. I'll let you know.