Friday, May 11, 2007

A new me

I had a great day yesterday. I spent the day with a great friend and we had fun shopping and eating out! And we only had one child with us - hers. It was fun to get to do that, hard to remember what it is like to get to go out with a friend without kids!
Anyway, the purpose of my post...
I started phase 1 again. I am now on day 5. The caffeine issue was really tough for the first 3 days. I was in a horrible mood and my head was killing me. Yesterday I decided it wasn't worth it and had a small coffee in the morning. Man, I felt so much better all day.
It is crazy. I hate being a slave to the caffeine, but I don't like the crabby moods.
I also had a silly moment. I am glad I had someone to share it with. I have been on a quest to find a pair of shorts. The only problem with loosing weight is all of a sudden you have no clothes to wear. I have always had the problem on the other end of them being too tight. Well, they look just as bad hanging off of you.
So, we were in Old Navy and I tried on 2 pairs of shorts - size 8 and they were a little baggy.
I started to tear up in the store. For most of you, this will seem crazy and dumb. However, it was a great moment for me. I am not the person who was skinny her whole life then had kids and got fat. I have always been fat. (besides a brief time when I got married and lost a bunch of weight) I have always struggled. I have never liked my body and for as long as I can remember, been a size 12-14. So today when I was in a size 8 and they fit I just couldn't believe it.
I would have never dreamed in a million years I would be here. I was proud of my accomplishment. I haven't been proud of myself in a long time. Thanks God for that hug I so desperately needed yesterday - and the cup of Joe!

Saturday, May 05, 2007

Not much new

Since I was scolded once again for not it is.
I really don't have anything new to report. I am trying to figure out what my plan is. I know that sounds silly to some, but I have abandoned most of my good eating habits and need a plan to get back in gear. It just seems hard right now. I know I can do it...I know I want to do it, it is just getting my rear in gear. I am not out to loose a bunch more weight, I just need to maintain where I am at. I refuse to let all my hard work go down the drain.
It was nice this week - I saw a friend who I had not seen in over 6 months. She was very surprised at the new me! It is great to be reminded that I have made a huge body change. I don't see it much anymore since I am now used to it. (and of course I still see the negatives)
I wish I had a great before and after picture. Someone gave me a bathing suit pic from last year, but it was not a great shot so hard to tell. I did buy a tankini this year! However, I am still not a fan of bathing suits. Maybe I will get brave and try to get a picture to post.
I am still enjoying exercise. This past 2 weeks I have been a little off my schedule due to working a lot more, but hopefully I can get back into a regular schedule once Julia is out of school.
Well, that is about it for me at the moment. Please keep praying for me. I see huge improvement, but also see the need to get back on my knees and work on my relationship with food again. I can see myself returning to old habits and sin.