This is for Leslie W. who faithfully checks my blog and reminded me that I haven't posted in a long time.
I think the biggest reason is that I am struggling with the eating stuff.
I am still working out 5-6 days a week. That is going great.
I have gone on to phase 4 and over if there are other phases and basically ditched most of the fat smash plan. I don't want to ditch it, I am just a little bored with it.
I probably need a week of phase 1 to get me back in gear.
I am maintaining my weight. I am building muscle....you should see my arms...really, I will show you anytime. I am liking my arms. Paul tells me to quit looking at myself and feeling my muscles.
I am down to a size 8-10 depending on the clothing. I am happy with that, except for the fact that I have no shorts that fit. They all are falling off.
I would like to loose 5 more pounds, but will be okay if I don't.
I am afraid of getting too comfortable.
I am afraid the weight is going to come pouring back on.
I know this is forever, I am just having a hard time coming to grips with that.
I enjoy working out, but can't imagine working out 6 days a week for the rest of my life.
So, I will just keep on for now. Perhaps if I get motivated at some point I will go back to phase 1 and give it another go. I just can't imagine going back right now. I especially don't think I can give up coffee right now. It has really been helping my mood swings lately.
Anyway, I am rambling. But I wanted to give Leslie something to read tomorrow.
3 comments:
My dear sweet Amy,
I know that you will know who this is :)
Everything happens for a reason, I have always believed this to be true in bigger ways then our small minds can even grasp. I have always struggled with eating disorders, since Jr. High, ether I am using food to make myself loose weight (diets, or not eating at all), masking the real problems behind a thin body and momentarily numbing my pain by the sweet approval of my peers. Or i am over eating, using food and its sweet flavors to cover up the PAIN, the real issues, numbing it temporarily. It is all about control, because deep down we all struggle trusting God, believing God when He tells us that we are loved as we are. So we try to do it all on our own. The only way we know , the only ability that we have is temporary, leaving us trying to try harder, doing more and more and more, soon we get to a place that nothing numbs the pain any more and depression begins to sink in, and hope drifts away. Maybe God is trying to say something to you Amy, that He loves you as you are and you can just be, just as you are. Diets ALWAYS fail because loosing weight is never the answer, they will never make us whole, they will never love us , they will never carry us through, they will only leave us feeling like a failure digging us deeper into the hole of pain. Things are never as they seem, something bigger is always moving behind the details of our lives seeking us out. I will be praying for you as I always have, you are so dear to me. I love you !
HA! Thanks for doing that just for me, Amy! I do enjoy reading your blogs, and I'm really impressed by what you've accomplished! You look great, and more importantly, I see how you've learned and grown so much through this. It's definitely a life long process for us all! Well, anyway, thanks for blogging.
~LW
Dito My dear,
what is going on with ya???? are you still ALIVE?? it has been a month, no over a month, you are leaving us hanging here, love you tons!
~Cuyotyi
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